err.. no.

err... no.
on second thought, i won't quit just yet.
it's not like my options are too limited.
there are still so many things left to do before quitting life.
and it feels like i could still do a lot of things i want to do.
i'll hold on for a little longer.
i'm staying for awhile.

on giving up

giving up isn't easy.
it's not as simple as one may think.

but, i'm feeling like giving up again.
give up this life. take it away on my own.
because i feel like there's nothing more to happen.
except for the same old everyday that comes.
everyday repeats itself every single day.
and i'm tired of living like this.
there's nothing here for me anymore.
i surrender.
yes. i accept my loss.
so please let me go.
i quit.


on being lazy

laziness should be made punishable by law.

laziness should be a crime.

there is no excuse for being lazy.

but, today i signify the meaning of lazy.

i'm sorry. i'll try harder to control this unnecessary thing that occupies me.

on being sad

yes. i'm sad.
i feel left out.
but it has all been my doing.
i made it to be this way
so it's useless to complain.
i did this.

on suicidal people

if people knew that suicidal people are suicidal,
would they change their views about them?
will they think that those suicidal people are pathetic and weak?
will they sympathize with them and have a little more consideration?
will they choose their words so as not to offend them?

suicide is a serious matter.
who on their right mind will think about killing themselves?
i'm not talking about suicide where the self-killer blackmails another.
it's more about suicide where the suicidal person is fed up with whatever is going on with his/her life
and wants to end it abruptly.
because he/she thinks and has decided that there's nothing left to do and to happen in his/her life.
that everything is just a waste of time.
that he/she is tired of living his/her daily life the same way as any other day.

do you think it will change the perception of other people if they knew that that person is suicidal?
will they think lowly of him/her?
or will they be more concerned about the suicidal person?

have you ever thought about ending your own life? for good?
i have.
and i still do.
lately, i've been thinking a lot about it.
but i keep thinking... no, i can still go on.
i can still live.
i can still endure.
i still can.

any day now,
i might give up thinking that i still can.


is this early goodbye?
or shall we meet again some other time?